You weren't as bad as i thought you would be!

So i did my solo today but before all that happened some other thing happened that put me in a shoddy mood

1 As i was parking at school some guy decided to show off to a girl and get into the parking place next to mine. he came within less than an inch of hitting my car.
2 We had to do a group project in science and no one in my group did anything.
3 the said project had NO instructions what so ever. just words we had to include and it had to be like Mendel's experiments. (the monk with the peas)
4 My friend got her tonsils out a few days ago so i have no one to sit next to during lunch.
5 My A string on my cello unraveled. It is not my fault just poor craftsmanship of the string.
6 My A dot on my cello fell off so i could not just play the A string notes on my D string (in emergency cases that's what you're supposed to do)
7 i had gym. which normally isn't that big of a deal. however, we did a lot of arm exercises and it made my arms dead for the rest of the day.

So i was freaking out a little and high strung and angry.

but i did it.

It sucked a bit, Syd says i was sharp and i agree. But there was a kid before me that was even more nervous and messed up more.(i told him we all loved him anyway and it wasn't a big deal)

When i got up there and started playing my friends cheered me on and a friend told an old joke to get me to laugh and relax. I just started playing and it really helped. I practiced this song a lot (almost everyday) and i knew it pretty well. All my friends were great and they totally supported me. I'm really happy I'm in the orchestra with such amazing people. I really love them!


...



at least until Courtney came up and said "you weren't as bad as i thought you'd be!"

in which i replied "i don't know whether to be pissed about that or not." (we laughed.)

So now all that's left is the after school performance with a judge. That is not until the 17th though so i can practice a little more. (it's in the orchestra room i think if anyone wants to come. 4:45 on Wednesday at my school)

I thought about playing at my family gatherings over the weekend to help with my nerves. the only problem is last time i did that my cousin messed my cello up. You can imagine my happiness about that.

It wasn't bad but it wasn't all that great either. finally i can breathe, at least till Wednesday!

be happy!

Hey long time since i've updated right? yeah i've been pretty busy. with school and all.
speaking of which guess what we did today!
the mile run! yippee!
i totally forgot that we were gonna do it today so i freaked out when my friend told me. mostly cause i was already worried about my solo in orchestra today too.
When i went to bed the night before i watched Kerli. she's one of my favorite singers and she's really an inspirational person.
basically the video i watched she told us to be happy.
Anger gets you no where and it does nothing for you. it will only drag you down.
depression gets you further from your dreams.
everyday wake up and think of where you want to go. and get excited about it! think about being happy because if you are always happy things will go your way.

So i was happy today. People got nervous and thought i was just being hyper. It was pretty hard considering the mile run and my solo. I told myself that at this moment i'm the best i've ever been at the song and nobody cares if you mess up. most likely they're relieved when you do. We're human and mistakes are natural.

Before the mile run i had to watch another girl run it and mark her laps and time. She really struggled and i was disappointed that the best i could do was to tell her that she could do it. She tried complaining to the coach to get out of doing it which made me kind of angry but then i remembered that i shouldn't judge people so i left her alone and just watched her run in the large circle.

Throughout my own run i tried to think of music and sing in my head since they weren't playing any. I tried to distract myself. finally with only five laps i just said that i've come this far and i can darn near jog till the finish. I had lots of friends cheering me on and every time i passed them they shouted for me. it gave me inspiration and happiness.
my time was 9.09
I felt so happy considering the last time i ran was two months ago.
i was only a minute behind our star athlete in the class.
and i'm not sore at all!

orchestra came along and i started getting nervous. i kept telling myself that everything would be fine and that i'm a pretty good player.
It didn't work.
Luckily we ran out of time before i got to play so i can practice a little more!
Kerli was right. if you're happy then the world is your playground and you can shape it into whatever you want.

i think i'll try it more often!

So i had a strange dream last night. It was one where i met up with a really old friend of mine J.T. After having that dream I started thinking of my elementary days and realized that i don't remember hardly anything. It's kind of sad when i went through some boxes and found those old journals the teachers made you keep. There was some pretty amazing stuff in there that i don't ever remember even thinking of. Half of my life is just gone.
So for the past two years we've had to do memoirs and i've always wanted to cry in frustration because there's nothing awesome or cute or anything that i can remember. Sure maybe a few here and there but when you can't even remember your fourth grade teacher? is it normal?

Lets be on a happier note now.
We took meemer out to see new moon and i must say going with her made the movie twice as good. Throughout the whole thing we kept cracking jokes and just laughing at the horrible acting and we about died. The most common thing we said was "Strangled by accident" from the SNL parody on Twilight. sure we had a few other lines that had me on the floor but the best one was when Jacob asks what she's (bella) staring at (one of the times he takes his shirt off) and meemer sat there and said "i don't know what are you staring at?" i couldn't stop laughing and the rest of the theater laughed too which i thought was pretty cool. But yeah i really hope to take her to another movie just to laugh like that again.

to blog or not to blog

so i've been ordered to post so here it is.
High school is easy peasy getting great grades and no complaints from anyone. Drivers Ed is almost done and i take my drivers test thursday and my driver is pretty positive we'll all pass.
Life is good.
I have twelve tickets waiting for the opportune moment that all schedules are clear for us to go down to the olympic oval and look forward to that.
I'm not all that excited for christmas because i'm pretty happy with all the things that i have already. i have music i have internet and food. I'm all good.
Life is boring.
I've got a story that has 5,627 views and i've just made another breakthrough with it. I'm always writing new ones. I've been practicing drawing again and breaking ground with that too.
so yeah boring and good. all natural 100% well at least i'm alive right?

I LOST THE GAME!!!

So after much excitement and stress and trauma the anime con finally came!! It was great fun and excitement seeing all the weird people like us.



and the people there are so nice because we're all really alike. You should've seen McDonalds that was right across the street!! We hung out with some friends.



and met some even more random people than us! Even the older adults were awesome!! They were just so random and fun. Including all the people from the "for the love of psycho's" panel! it was great fun and laughter and i got to see some people i haven't seen for a long time.



This game is called ninja, the point is to slap your opponent's hand before they move. usually you're only allowed one move but if you see it coming you can step. This is a pro battle as you can tell, others just were sneaky and slapped them from behind. Next year i plan to be a master. :D !

My friend was a real pain though. She seemed to expect to be driven there and back or picked up and for me to bow to her every wish. By the second day i was already tired of her. So the last day i finally stood up to her and said, "i want to hang out with my sister and her friends too." so after pestering her to leave the show they were doing we went downstairs and played some video games.

One of the people dressed up in a red stiped shirt and beanie and was soon chased by girls down the halls all screaming "I found Waldo!!" then looking through my friend's pics Waldo showed up in the background waving to the camera! that was genius. There were many great costumes and some of the people looked really cool! It was so weird going back to school the next day and being surrounded by NORMAL people!! all my friends were like "It's too normal! Lets go back!" But it was a memorable weekend and i hope to go next year, this time i'm gonna cosplay!!






You are now playing the game,
you cannot win the game,
the point of the game is not to think of the game,
every thirty seconds someone will scream "I lost the game."
making it impossible to win,
good luck.









































I JUST LOST THE GAME!!!

ah the smell of high school

So coming into high school has been fun, so far I'm just treading water and staying above all the homework. I've started making new friends and being really friendly. Some additions to our table are Nat, Flav and Meesh. They're really funny and i enjoy being around them. Flav is very much like my sister's friend and i get along pretty well with her; she's an amazing artist and writer. Nat is pretty much a stretch to our similarities but we get along really well and her art is beyond amazing and almost at the professional level. Meesh is a huge manga and library fan, everyday at lunch you can usually find her in the library with a book in hand. Most of my teachers are pretty fun and exciting with a few exceptions. My worst classes are world civ and computer tech because they are so boring and i have to make a great effort to stay awake. I love love love my orchestra class, they are just so random and fun and enjoy staying loose. this year we have 8 cellists!! The music is hard but not unattainable. so far things are going well.

We had our sophomore elections just this week and guess who ran!

not me!

my friend Nat decided she wanted to run for vp. So i said i would join her and be in her skit and vote and be a committee member. Well i couldn't help her with her posters and felt really bad when i found out they'd been at it until 2 in the morning. She seemed to have a really good skit idea considering they could be only 45 seconds i was a little worried. Well when i come to school the day after our break i see lots of people with shirts for their candidates and i become a little freaked that i should've had one for Nat (i'm such a bad member). I look up whether it's A day or B day and see the elections are tomorrow. It slips my mind to tell it to our runner. So on the glorious Wednesday I'm sitting in English with Nat when an announcement came on asking for all the candidates and their committee managers. Nat gets up to leave and i ask if i should go too. She grabs me and drags me along. So we get to our auditorium and sit for a bit and panic because we see people with props and realize our skits are that day! So with just me and Nat she thinks up a genius plan of singing a song/poem. So i, for one, suddenly becoming the campaign manager and having to go up and ask people to nominate Nat as our vp in front of our whole sophomore class and with no skit or speech planned, am freaking out. Nat pretty much took over though and dragged me along. We got up there to the mic and sang her song and dance to no music. I asked my friends later how we were and they kept saying i looked really happy so i guess thats really good. I just tried to enjoy myself and be funny and hyper like i had been earlier. We pulled through with some crowd help and sat back down with a sigh of relief. It was a cool experience to help her out. I liked watching the other skits and laughed and cheered for other people who didn't seem very popular. Doing all this made me think of maybe running next year against Nat just for fun, Flav says she might too. I just laugh when i think back to lunch afterwards, Nat was dead and i was dead, nerves can really make you tired!

drama drama drama and a jerk

it's been a while!
So we just got back from the county fair! woot free food! I've found that the photography contests looks really tempting and i'm liking my moms idea of a camera for Christmas.
The all important monument in teen life...
High School.
I'm kinda freaked out. We've got orientation tomorrow early in the morning. I know i have nothing to worry about except the tons of homework the large campus and the confusing "small schools" that make no sense whatsoever. I am VERY excited about the orchestra program with the amazing teacher and more than two cellos. I'm nervous because my best friend is going to clearfield instead (i wish i was too, it has WAY more opportunities) and that there are people at syracuse that i don't get along with. The lockers are also a complete rip-off. But i'm also excited. I'm just a worry wart.
now for man drama.
You remember when you kinda wanted a boyfriend and thought up "the perfect guy" and hardly anybody would fit in that little square. I'm comfortable with guys; mostly wanting to become good friends before going into a romantic relationship. Yeah i've dated before but the guys were people i didn't like in that way. Well i mostly get the nerds and i'm happy that at least someone finds me attractive. until that guy turns out kinda stalkerish. He was in my seventh period (the one with all guys) and was mostly the wimp of the class so i stood up for him. i said hi and made a nice conversation. He was one of the tops students and i grouped with him a lot cause he wasn't one of the idiots and i could handle his personality. I realized that he started to get friendlier and friendlier and just pushed it out of my mind. It started irritating me that he would guard my books cause Chris would steal them and my friend Jim liked to look at what i was reading. He'd walk me to my locker and any classes i needed to go to after seventh. He just kept irritating me more and more. I didn't need any protecting and i especially didn't need it from him when i was defending him more than he could himself. He got me a nice valentines gift after valentines day cause i was sick the actual day. He finally asked me out before school ended and i said that i couldn't not until i was sixteen. I thought he took it fine but apparently not. I hung out with a few friends on tuesday, doing some sports and stuff. We went back to my house and hung out. well the other friend left and Jim and i talked outside for a bit. He thought that i was going out with Derek (the stalkerish dude). guess why. Apparently when he talked to Derek on his Xbox live he said that we were going out. This was the last straw. not only had he said this behind my back to Jim but to most of the people in seventh period. He also decided that he was going to follow me at lagoon on the Coke's lagoon day. After a whole blissful summer without a puppy dog following at my heels i was not happy to get it back. So after i got this bit of info from Jim and an email from Derek i decided i was going to tell him off. He'll probably still come to lagoon but i was really pissed that he was saying we were going out. I only thought of him as a friend, an annoying friend but just someone i knew. I never agreed to date him and i never will not after what he's been saying. i just hope lagoon day will go smoothly and i won't start yelling at him.
---edited---
ahg why do i feel so guilty! i finally told him what i thought and he makes it sound so bad! He planned his whole weekend around it! I don't know if he's still coming and jim says if i let him come then i'm just reversing everything i just did. Dang it mom and dad why'd you give me such a huge guilt bone?? i feel so bad about it!