Oh where has the internet gone?

So everyday when i come one of the first things i do is check my email. Mostly empty most of the time. Sometimes when i write a story i'll put it on a website and get reviews from people that make me bubbly with joy. But most of the time there's nothing.
Once every so often i'll sign in on msn messenger and recieve messages that are weeks old.
But everyday i read. Once email is done i type in the magic letters that bring me to two magic websites with magic books.
Unfortunately they only update once a month.
yippee.
Now i do not surf youtube or google for interesting things. I don't go on game websites to play online. I'm am not explorative to amazon or ebay. I just simply read.
and it works. most of the time.
Why in the whole world wide web can i not find entertainment?

So boredom sets in.
which means i should run. but i never do because i make up an excuse for myself that i never follow through with. like for example, homework.
My creative writing teacher believes this is an honors class and can write amazing things in ten minutes, come up with 26 alliterations and an illustrated picture of them, and read.
Now a multitasker master i may be but this pushes things. a bit.

Which means i should run. but not today. because today i have to: practice cello, catch up in math, email that teacher about that assignment she lost last week, illustrate a book, research building and make observations and then draw one, answer frantic text messages from my depressing friend, and finish the book that my sister wants to read, and maybe go to hot topic to listen to the amazing music of kerli.

too bad track starts monday.

oh crap.

You weren't as bad as i thought you would be!

So i did my solo today but before all that happened some other thing happened that put me in a shoddy mood

1 As i was parking at school some guy decided to show off to a girl and get into the parking place next to mine. he came within less than an inch of hitting my car.
2 We had to do a group project in science and no one in my group did anything.
3 the said project had NO instructions what so ever. just words we had to include and it had to be like Mendel's experiments. (the monk with the peas)
4 My friend got her tonsils out a few days ago so i have no one to sit next to during lunch.
5 My A string on my cello unraveled. It is not my fault just poor craftsmanship of the string.
6 My A dot on my cello fell off so i could not just play the A string notes on my D string (in emergency cases that's what you're supposed to do)
7 i had gym. which normally isn't that big of a deal. however, we did a lot of arm exercises and it made my arms dead for the rest of the day.

So i was freaking out a little and high strung and angry.

but i did it.

It sucked a bit, Syd says i was sharp and i agree. But there was a kid before me that was even more nervous and messed up more.(i told him we all loved him anyway and it wasn't a big deal)

When i got up there and started playing my friends cheered me on and a friend told an old joke to get me to laugh and relax. I just started playing and it really helped. I practiced this song a lot (almost everyday) and i knew it pretty well. All my friends were great and they totally supported me. I'm really happy I'm in the orchestra with such amazing people. I really love them!


...



at least until Courtney came up and said "you weren't as bad as i thought you'd be!"

in which i replied "i don't know whether to be pissed about that or not." (we laughed.)

So now all that's left is the after school performance with a judge. That is not until the 17th though so i can practice a little more. (it's in the orchestra room i think if anyone wants to come. 4:45 on Wednesday at my school)

I thought about playing at my family gatherings over the weekend to help with my nerves. the only problem is last time i did that my cousin messed my cello up. You can imagine my happiness about that.

It wasn't bad but it wasn't all that great either. finally i can breathe, at least till Wednesday!

be happy!

Hey long time since i've updated right? yeah i've been pretty busy. with school and all.
speaking of which guess what we did today!
the mile run! yippee!
i totally forgot that we were gonna do it today so i freaked out when my friend told me. mostly cause i was already worried about my solo in orchestra today too.
When i went to bed the night before i watched Kerli. she's one of my favorite singers and she's really an inspirational person.
basically the video i watched she told us to be happy.
Anger gets you no where and it does nothing for you. it will only drag you down.
depression gets you further from your dreams.
everyday wake up and think of where you want to go. and get excited about it! think about being happy because if you are always happy things will go your way.

So i was happy today. People got nervous and thought i was just being hyper. It was pretty hard considering the mile run and my solo. I told myself that at this moment i'm the best i've ever been at the song and nobody cares if you mess up. most likely they're relieved when you do. We're human and mistakes are natural.

Before the mile run i had to watch another girl run it and mark her laps and time. She really struggled and i was disappointed that the best i could do was to tell her that she could do it. She tried complaining to the coach to get out of doing it which made me kind of angry but then i remembered that i shouldn't judge people so i left her alone and just watched her run in the large circle.

Throughout my own run i tried to think of music and sing in my head since they weren't playing any. I tried to distract myself. finally with only five laps i just said that i've come this far and i can darn near jog till the finish. I had lots of friends cheering me on and every time i passed them they shouted for me. it gave me inspiration and happiness.
my time was 9.09
I felt so happy considering the last time i ran was two months ago.
i was only a minute behind our star athlete in the class.
and i'm not sore at all!

orchestra came along and i started getting nervous. i kept telling myself that everything would be fine and that i'm a pretty good player.
It didn't work.
Luckily we ran out of time before i got to play so i can practice a little more!
Kerli was right. if you're happy then the world is your playground and you can shape it into whatever you want.

i think i'll try it more often!