selfish

i've been feeling very selfish lately.
I want my cello, i miss being able to play at home everyday. it's a really good way to calm myself down.
I want to learn piano, i can only play songs off my iPod and it's getting boring.
I want to score some goals; this i should be more selfish about, i totally gave the ball away last game and i really could've made it.
I want to be really good at cello, i felt like i was being treated like a seventh grader today, like trying to find the harmonics on my cello, we took extra time just for me and it made me feel bad.
I want some help around the house, i know mom's got school and is really stressed already but i could still use some help.
I want to be done with my honors classes, i don't want to rush at midterms or the terms i just want to be through with it.
I want to succeed in my honors classes, no matter how much i make fun of my mom's stressing over her grades i know that it's best.
I want to talk to my mom more, i always feel like she's left out when we have time to talk.
I want time, simple as that, i've got too much going on.
I want my brain back, please if you find it please return...
I want kristen to know me better, she's my best friend yet i feel like we're breaking apart.
i want to be a musical genius, i want to be able to put my feelings down in notes and play it.
i want school to be over, I'm tired of this already, i get so tired of routine.
I want to write a book, to find an idea that can actually turn into a book, you'd be surprised at how hard this is.
I think i'm almost done...
I want chelsea to stop being a snob, it's very hard to have a soccer team when i always am getting lectured and yelled at but when i ask nicely they don't listen to me.
I want someone to notice my hard times and care, i don't just want a pat on the back and them to say "stiffen up that upper lip" i want them to help me work through it.
I want homework to be simple.
I want good music.
Ok i'm done rambling now.

S.O.S!

hey guys i need some help from all you who live near me! since i decided to take honors science i need some volunteers for homework! I need every one's, even taco's, help. You need to call me ASAP to get a day that we can meet and steal an hour or two at the church, we can bring some toys and stuff so that the little ones are entertained. but please please please let me know. it'd really help, grandma and grandpa, if you could come down too but i can totally understand if you can't. This thing is due two weeks from Wednesday the 26th!! seriously thanks so much!

It wasn't me!!

battle scars

being a girl you always want to be pretty and perfect, to smell nice and to look nice. I'm not one of those girls. If I'm not sweaty at one point in the day it's been...well a boring one. And so in order to sweat practically everyday i joined a comp soccer team. I also now have an AYSO soccer team, did i mention with guys?
being a guy, you want to have the biggest bruise, the loudest statement, etc. they also happen to be quite violent when chasing after a ball. So it's expected to get a few bruises for either side.







both my knees have a color full addition to the tan. i also have done something to my right big toe, but if i don't get on the ground or get a bruise i haven't been playing hard enough.

hamster in heaven

my elder hamster died today. she was sick, had an infection in her eye and wasn't eating or drinking. her eye was twice it's size and turned black and kinda shriveled up. well i looked in on her, like i always do, after school and there was no signs of life. i expected this, she's kinda old anyway. i hate to sound heartless but i don't think it's that big of a deal.

i'm happy i was able to get some pictures before anything happened. Since i thought of that i decided today that i would take pictures of the famous new hamster i had before this happened too. now you can see why i had to have the cute ball of fuzz

sigh

i think i'm sick...i wanna bash my head in but that would give me a bruise...i think it's the flu...sigh i hate being sick. i'll have to stay away from meemers kids when we go.

...10 things?!

dang and i thought i got away.

if you get tagged, you have to list 10 things that make you happy. What are the things that tickle your fancy, make you smile or still give you that butterfly sensation? What things do you seek out and truly enjoy? The only rule is that you can't say your kids or your spouse...it's too easy.
these can mostly be switched around to any number.

10-track, i love the feeling when i sprint and get the rush, and i feel so graceful when i clear a jump well.
9-drawing and painting, i love to paint and draw, when i can get the picture just right i feel very accomplished.
8-reading, i love to immerse myself in a good book, even if it's for class.
7-getting an A, yeah i know I'm a slacker and totally don't get A's but this year seeing all A's on my grades has felt really good.
6-my team, my la roca team is so fun, we all run together and drop dead next to our water bottles when its over.
5-writing, when people read my stories online and love it, it gives me the feeling of accomplishment.
4-my really good friend Kristen, she helps me feel included and we are very similar.
3-playing my cello, i love the deep tone and the beauty when i hit just the right notes.
2-being smart, i love it when i outsmart the teachers and my friends it gives me the feeling of importance.
1-family time, i love all of my family even if some aren't the greatest sometimes. my cousins, my mom, everyone.